2007-10-06 - 7:25 p.m.

I've been TRYING to make some positive changes in my life. I'm hoping that if I start doing better things for myself, I'll start liking me again.

I made my very first smoothie today. I'd forgotten that I even had a blender. It was so yummy. Better than any milkshake I've ever gotten at DQ (no, really!).

I took skim milk, no fat strawberry yogurt, frozen strawberries and scared the hell out of my pets by blending it all together. My blender is old and noisy, but it still works after all those years of moving around from place to place and sitting dormant in the cabinet. I think the last time that poor thing was used was when Kim and I made margaritas in our apartment. That was in 1996!

I'm just excited. It was really good and I can't wait to experiment with some other types of smoothies. If you have any healthy smoothies that you like, let me know!

My friend Tracy has been schooling me in the whey protein area and we're supposed to go together to pick out some stuff for me to try. We now belong to the same gym so hopefully we can keep each other going. Tracy has been a wonderful motivator for me.

Amy always imparts lovely wisdom on me when I am being a bit hard on myself. I save her e-mails to remind me that "Whatever is done...is done."

I am so thankful to be surrounded by friends who make me want to be better. Supportive friends who love me the way I am, but understand that I'm not happy with how I feel I have let myself go. I wish everyone had a cheering section like mine.

I'm trying. I didn't say anything positive is happening yet. I haven't completely committed myself to a diet or any sort of formal exercise regime. It seems that every time I do that I set myself up to fail. I've been reading my health/diet/exercise books for inspiration and trying to incorporate good things little by little into my day and I guess we'll see what happens.

Wish me luck.

Where I've Been. - What's Next.