Monday, Nov. 19, 2007 - 7:30 pm

I miss my Mom terribly this time of year. Just like most people who have lost a loved one, the holidays hit pretty hard. It was her favorite time of year.

I was watching 'House' tonight and I ended up in tears. A woman receiving a vascular angiogram had complications. Her lungs filled with fluid and she was drowning. She couldn't breathe.

All I could think of was my Mom.

For those of you who don't know, my Mom died from complications of a coronary angiogram. She began bleeding from somewhere behind her stomach and they could never get her stabilized enough to operate and find out where it was coming from. After fighting from very early in the morning until 7:20pm that evening, she had enough and she let go.

At one point a doctor came out and said that I could see her. I asked him if she was awake and would she know that I was there. He said that she was not conscious. I remember telling him to get back in there and do what he could to help her and to stop wasting time talking to me.

I should have gone in.

A couple hours later a different person came out. This time they took me through the double doors and that is when they told me that she was gone.

It's been six years that she's been gone, but things like this just continue to bust me up.

All of this might have something to do with the fact that I am completely exhausted and stressed to the point of breaking.

Just maybe...

Where I've Been. - What's Next.