Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008 - 1:00 pm

I'm not a disorganized person and I'm not a packrat. But I have stuff. I have stuff I can use and stuff that means something to me. Everything generally has a place and I can almost always find something if I'm looking for it. Actually, it drives me batshit if lose things.

My friend Sharkie sent me a toe ring. I can't wear most toe rings because they hurt my toes. But this one had some sort of stretchy fishline wire stuff that didn't look like it would be a problem. It was the cutest little dragon I'd ever seen and I was excited to try to wear it. A couple of days later, I wanted to wear it and I can't find it. I am positive that I have accidentally thrown the envelope it was in out with the trash.

I was heartbroken and got more and more disappointed every time I thought of it. I told Linda what had happened because I felt so guilty because I loved it so much. Sharkie is a wonderful and thoughtful person and tried to find another one. That's not why I told her I had lost it, I just wanted to apologize to her for losing her lovely gift. She told me that she tried to find me another one, but they were all gone. A couple of days later another envelope came with another toe ring. Two little cherries. Adorable. It is in my jewelry box and I refuse to lose it!

Today, I was going through some stuff in my office. I like rearranging and reorganizing things when I'm bored. I figured I would try to get control of the millions of my stationery and address labels I have from various charities and some that friends have made for me. In doing this an envelope fell to the ground, I opened it and there was my dragon toe ring! I looked at the postmark on the envelope and it said "Aug 2005". Amazing.

The first thing I did was let Sharkie know that after all this time I had found it. She was happy and I told her it was like getting a birthday present! The next thing I did was put the dragon with the cherries. Now I cannot wait until it is warm enough for sandals and my toe rings.

I also found a letter from my Mom in one of the boxes of greeting cards she liked to have on hand. I still send these cards now and then like she would have. I know it would make her happy.

The letter was written after my Nana died. I had come home for a week to try to help her through everything. I had gotten laid off and just got a new job. I had to put off my start date a week so I could go home. My new employers were very understanding even though they needed me right away.

At the end of the letter there is a line that anyone who has ever ridden in a car with my bratty ass can probably relate to.

I thought I would share the letter here. It was nice to find it today.

Monday - 5/4/98 11:45pm

Dear Heather,

Just a small letter to tell you how much your being home has meant to me. I'm sure down deep in my heart I couldn't have made it without you.

With you and all of your friends coming and calling it kept me from going off the deep end.

I was glad to hear you were home safe and that your first day went fairly well. I'm sure you'll soon have more to do than you did today. [BOY, DID I!]

You know I've always considered you special - but never as much as now.

I had said before that all things happen for a reason and I know Nana's passing was to finally take her away from pain and to give Dan the chance to stand on his own [THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN] and I believe to let me know it is my time to get my life bakc on track and to be able to be closer to you. [THIS DID HAPPEN]. I've missed so much and I don't want to miss any more. [I HAD ONLY BEEN GONE 3 YEARS, BUT IT DID SEEM LIKE FOREVER TO MY LITTLE MOM.]

I promise I'll do my best to never get in the way. I just want to be near you more often. Don't mind me, it's late and I'm very tired and my mind is going a mile a minute but the feelings are real.

Thank you baby for everything...even the 'Wet Willies'. Ha Ha

I love you and I'll be seeing you again soon.

Love and kisses always. Love, Mom

Where I've Been. - What's Next.